Eris und der Platypus (englisch)

[Cpt. Bucky Saia]

There was a platypus sitting sadly on a stone.
Eris heard the whining and crying and decided to get to the bottom of it.

When she stood there in front of that animal, she said,"Why are you crying so badly?"
The platypus replied,"Look at me. What I look like. I am the mockery of the animal world. Why do I have to look like that right now."
Eris replied,"Oh, you little platypus are a very cute animal."
"Yes, that's it," the platypus replied,"Look at me. I'd much rather be a strong wolf or a lithe cat, maybe even an octopus or a toad that doesn't look as abstruse as I do."

"Well, my little platypus," Eris said,"I'll tell you the story of your creation."

"A long time ago, shortly after the world was created, the gods once again argued over things whose cause has long been forgotten. Since they did not reach an agreement, they decided to settle the dispute in a contest.

Everyone should create a creature, a creature that should compete against the others in a fair competition.

So said Chuthullu the great old "I will create an animal in my image. It should be able to live in the deepest seas and hide there. It should have long arms so that it can grab its prey from the ambush and be soft so that it can hide everywhere. I call this animal an octopus." and so it happened that the squid was created.

Cysyltu the big toad wanted to be the next one "My being should be small but have strong legs so that it can jump far. His skin should be of such toxicity that his enemies will not dare to touch it. And I call it a toad."

Isis pushed Isis forward,"What you guys can do, I've been doing for a long time." she said,"I shall be a creature of incredible grace and the night shall be his realm. It will be able to sneak and in the dark it will see so that it can surprise its prey steets. I'm going to call this being cat."

"Laughable what you're doing," Odin the great god of the Nordic peoples said. "I will create a creature that will be strong and tenacious. I will be able to live in ice and snow and I will give him strong teeth and claws. I'll call it Wolf."

So it was the turn of JHWH and he said "My being should run on two legs and have two limbs to carry things with it. I want to give him the brains to rule over everyone else."

Then it was my turn. Competitions were me again and I took the opportunity to get drunk and have a good time but now I had to show something. So I took a box in which the remnants of creation lay and dumped them. When I was asked for the name I was probably a little bit drunk of the good wine "Platypus" and so you were also created.

Then came the day when the fight was decided by a fight. One by one, the creatures were thrown into an arena of round form, and they boasted and bet and had fun. Curious as to who would win, the gods look into the arena. JHWH creation proved to be a big failure. Every time this creature was threatened, it fell to its knees, hammered its arms over its head and begged its master to protect it.

The other beings, however, acted according to the precepts of their creators and the struggle swayed back and forth, with neither side proving to be the stronger.

Then I threw you, the platypus into the ring and behold, the beings stopped in their struggle. But just as the remaining ones wanted to jump at you, you were looking at them and everyone was crooked with laughter. Every creature tried to attack you, but every time you waddled through the ring the creatures couldn't help laughing.

So my platypus you won the competition and I won the fight I wasn't involved in at all.
And that's why my little platypus, you're still my favorite creature in the world."