► Text anzeigen
Otherwise Known as Various Things;
A Collection of Magical Ideas and Doings,
which is Most Interesting,
from One Branch of the Discordian Movement,
Whatever That May Be.
Introduction to Thee Chain Booke, wherein Evereething is Explained; Possibly
by Tequilarius Malignatus, KSC, KNS, ov thee Discordian Society
You are because we are and we are because you are. Illumination is really only a light switch away, but only if you can get Buddha Out of the Damned Way. Damned Thing, who do you think you are to deny thyselves? Reject, then, the tepid contrivances and false emotions of usurious Order and its invidious pseudo-Civilization! Proclaim an Anarchy of thy Hearts! Face the Chaos that authorities for millenia have been teaching you to fear. Wake up and become your own person, no matter what the slave-drivers have promised you in return for your ignorance. Learn for yourselves what Adepts have been learning for centuries; that humanity is in a degraded collection of societies enthralled to outlooks that declare irrelevant the things that are relevant, and that declare immaterial the things that do matter.
Besides all that, is it possible to practice magic with results?
If you think not, then proceed no further. You are wasting your time and its best that you don't know what we're up to anyway. Go back to the life you thought you knew you had before ever reading this. We will carry on just fine without you.
If you think so, then please continue. You may understand some of what follows. Maybe not. But what fun would it be to read a 'magical text' without trudging through incomprehensible meander? Huh? We promise to provide hours of laughter and tears (and years of psychological disintegration, possibly) as you try to understand, get confused, become frustrated, and then finally understand, only to be wrong, in the end. All Hail Discordia! Or at least pass the tequila, if hailing Eris isn't your thing. If you think this is a joke of some sort, think again because you may just be right some of the time. Rest assured that this book will not be the end all or the be all of any sort when it comes to Pop-Tarts...uh, I mean magic.
You are lying! Stop that.
Interested, and interesting Magicians, Witches, Chaoists, Discordians, and other Divers Weird People, Artists, Occultists and/or Pagans who feel the need, urge, impetus, prerogative, motions, vibrations, or what-have-you, to contribute anything interesting/interested, should send us pieces to be placed into this CHAIN BOOK herein, for the edification, illumination, entertainment, and/or practice of all those who may read this at some point or other. Otherwise just take whatever version of this chain-book you find, add to it, and send it off elsewhere. Don't worry about the fnords, they can't see you. FnoRd.
Thee Arte, Kaos, and Craeft ov Witchereez
a Ritchual by Frater Stupidius, Prelator of Mung
It iz time to free your mind from thee filth ov overtelevation and get down to some reezults magik. To that end, read and try the following rite dealing with certain things and certain mystereez, which will open your mind to chaotic workings.
Thee Preeliminareez
To start off, there are fivez in evereething around you.
To second off, evereething you research will tend to support your theoreez.
To third it off, lern thee sacredlee irreverant spiral pentagram ritual to invoke thee deitee of your choice, most likelee Eris, regardless ov whomever you call upon.
To forth it off, bring thee sacred implements to be destroyed as part of thee holee banishment.
To fifth it off, imbibe yourself in the immersion of holee gnostic ekstaseez. (Some preefer thee spirits in thee bottle, otherz preefer other methodz.)
Thee Ritchual
Spin around in thee mysterious state you have found yourself in. Visualize thee deezire/z clearlee in your mind'z eye.
It iz most effectiv if you raize up thru yourself enough energeez to cause a local power-outage, or something to that eeffect. (You get thee idea.)
Stop thee spinning and either/eether stand or sit. Feel thee energeez thuslee raized spiral out in a chaotic vortex.
Burn thee sacred tools that you hav decided to burn. Allow the energee thus reeleased to merge with the vortex you hav now created.
To keep thee energeez continuing, start to spin around again.
It may be most helpful to hav otherz around you shouting random chaotic phrazez of a majikal eefect in unintelligible fashion. Or, if practicing solo, to hav some sort of chaotic muzik playing, preeferablee more than one source to add to thee eefect.
Launch thee energeez and any other information you wish to add into thee greater world around yourself.
Thee Banishing
You hav alreadee done so in the burning of thee tools or other things. So to cloze thee ritchual, stop thee spinning and wait until your mind and body has reecovered. When you are able to walk without problems balancing, thee ritchual iz clozed.
Congratulations! You are now a practioner of chaotic witchereez! Declare yourself whatever it iz that you wish to be declared az. So mote it be, az long az thee motes are not in your eyez.
That iz all for now.
[Note: St. Kallista is ov thee most humble opinion that thee preeceeding ritchual has been entirelee mispelled and that thee correct spelling is "Pfft!" Ov course, I must disagree holeheartedlee.]
An Exegesis of the Irrationale behind, underneath, inside, and over Chaos Magic; Possibly
by Tequilarius Malignatus, KSC, KNS, 23C, ov thee Discordians for Softer Sandpaper Society
Stop reading occult books! Stop! Now!
It is better to throw away all those expensive magical tools and robes and other odd occult-like objects. Take a look around you at the tools you ignore in your everyday life: The televisions, the computers, the cellphones, the streets, microwaves, et al. These are the tools ov thee prezent Aeon, the digital-electronic-information age, the society of the sigils. Look around you and see the sigils that lay out in the open as logos and phrases that reach into your desires, virus-like, and twist them to another's power. If you can not do this now, you will forever be a slave to someone else's myths, someone else's gods, someone else's thoughtforms...a half-human phantom with pseudo-emotions and tepid desires.
Chaos is the reminder that you are free, if you so choose. Magic is the realization of this and the subsequent changes brought about to manifest this. It is the ecstatic struggle to destroy the viral thoughtforms and patterns that keep you enslaved to the deadening and gray limits of authority: That vile beast that masquerades as our protector and comfort, but only when it can get what it wants of us. If your magical teachers have not given you hints of this, then your teachers have been lying to you and themselves. Magic is about reclaiming the sources of your own power. Anything else is just pseudo-intellectual occult diddling.
The final criterion over whether magic is successful or not is THE RESULT (a.k.a. 'thee rezult'). There is no other useful criterion, despite what the liars have been saying for generations. The ultimate decisions of the matter must be made by yourselves. DO IT YOURSELVES! Don't wait for anyone else, and don't waste your money on expensive seminars or books. Look within, find your desire, and then enchant for it, in whatever that means to you. Many will say that you can't do that simple action, unless you know the proper ways of doing it, and then they will try to convince that their ways are best. But that iz crap. Don't let them shove their own mental bullshit down your ears! Don't let them immanentize the eschaton! You are your own immanentizing of your own eschaton! Take it upon yourselves to manifest your intentions and desires in whatever ways get THE RESULT. Let the armchairists stay in their armchairs, whining and complaining about how nobody respects their second-hand systems anymore. So be it. So mote it be. Io Chaos!
We are in the Aftermath, the rise of the Chaoist Age. If that means the destruction of the Global System of privilege-for-the-few-at-the-expense-of-the-many, than so be it. And may Eris hasten the coming of that day. In the meantime, we Chaoists have our work cut out for us, and if not, then we'll cut out our own damned work for ourselves. You can sit there and wait for the damn paradigm shift all you want, but we'll wonder why you don't just shift your own filthy paradigms. Afterall, they need to be switched every so often for healthy mental functions and more potent magical operations.
Perhaps I am just wasting my words. Perhaps the corporations have really taken hold over people's hearts. Perhaps the only useful thing to do is to enchant for an elaborate destruction of the economy and then just go crawl into a nice hermetically sealed cave somewhere to wait out the storm. I can then, safely from a distance, watch the automatons decide to cut each other's throats, instead of working amongst themselves to be free. Perhaps. Perhaps I am an automaton and this is all a lie. Perhaps. Perhaps, I will just stay in the thick of the fray, throwing Apples of Discord into the mix. Who can say? But the time is now. Chaos is alive. Magic is real. What are you going to do about it?
Chylde ov Kaos?
by St. Anonymous, of thee Purple Monkey Mafia/Cabal and thee Erisian Liberation Front
The Chaoist is fulfilled when such a person can learn anything and everything, merging into whatever chosen tradition and absorbing it wholeheartedly, while not ultimately being bound by that tradition. Thus it is said that the Beginner's Mind is essential. Indeed. The Beginner's Mind is essential not only to learn anything and everything, but also Beginner's Mind in outlook, attitude, and practice is the mark of the Chaoist adept. Thus the Chaoist can love more than one tradition each much more fully than some adherents who stay within one tradition their whole lives.
Any magical system one initiates study and practice of can only be fully appreciated, embodied, and learned from within the Beginner's Mind. Thus it is said that one's cup must be empty before it can be filled totally. This is the essential approach of the Children of Chaos. For further information, consult the pineal gland.
The Magic Sentence
by gnimbley the gnome
Without appearing to be redundant, the concept of magic (or its functional equivalent) as a solution to your problems during your travails in this particular time space continuum could be thought of as a metaphor for how you interpret the world (or its functional equivalent) around you - as if it were something you could interpret (as opposed to something you would flirt with) without falling prey to its insidious trappings and hooks, the false theology that replaced the messiah of your youth (who was neither true nor false nor anything in between) with the materialism of your desire (the eBay of your soul), the blanket expressionism that binds you to the rituals you consciously ape, as it were - and the practice that adheres you to the hierarchical restrictions imposed by an orderly and well processed orthodoxy (or a chaotic and disorderly meliorism) may seem to temper your mind and focus your thelematic power, but relies it must (oh, it must!) on the servitude of your spirit to the clandestine gluttony (slurp, slurp) of the lords and masters who seek to extract your marrow through the straw (strawberry flavored, we hope) of obedience, enhance their corruption, misdirect the blind, and eviscerate the naive (even as you read this you are being conditioned (obfuscated) by a religion that denies its own existence), while leaving you with breadcrumbs from a darkened trail through a lengthy and withered forest where you find the pristine paths of enlightenment (the Truth is outside your existence) trampled underneath the stampede of eagerly emaciated sheep, without whose blood to drink the powers that bind your mind with strips of torn philosophy (conveniently borrowed unacknowledged from older, forgotten (and frequently fraudulently fabricated), but no less discredited sources they hide in secret scarlet boxes (encased in black satin bulses) stored beneath opulent four poster beds spread with satin pillows and gold threaded blankets and the warm, musky, captive meadow of moistened dreams) would perish, for should you discover the smoke behind their mirror (countervailing theory: everything is derived from warblings in the quantum flux, in other words the universe is an error and life is a mistake; believe nothing you read) and break free of the tenuous hold you have surrendered to them (or their functional equivalent) they will have only their own selves (to blame) to draw from and that is insufficient to feed their greed; but your own desire derives from within your own self (or its functional equivalent), out of which only you can extract the essence (a recipe for which is forthcoming in a later edition) of that which you are without betraying the ectoplasmic envelope (or water vessel) which defines the hole you make in time space and in which is harbored not just your pleasure and your desire but also your lust and your hate (and your next door neighbor) and your failure and your delusion, making it imperative that you cast off the encrusted carapace that has been grafted onto your perception by years of socialization and anti-socialization (yin and yang, toast and coffee, Balder's Creek is rising) and in its place pour only the energy of your own light (or dark), because even rebellion against the machine has betrayed you with another machine (kitchen sink), created by those who would have you believe (lest you believe what they warn you against, for the against which you struggle is not the against of theirs but of yours) their tattered morality (raised whole cloth from dirt and ashes); which draws you to the self being the solution to which magic is the problem if you are seeking a shortcut to the restructuring of reality (or its functional equivalent), for such is the nature of the space time fabric (or tapestry, if you prefer) that shortcuts are a long ways (through blind alleys of thrashing machines and seedy bars of boygs and forgotten fraudulent tomes, into which you fall lengthwise without safety (nevertheless, where there is an unachievable peace and serenity waiting)), yet paths do exist along a myriad of inner dimensions through which magic (or its functional equivalent) can work if you understand the valley you occupy and the hilltop you seek, which is not the destination that you have been told to seek nor the one you have been trained to seek or even the one you want to seek (but does come with a really nifty toaster oven), but merely the point at which you achieve freedom from delusion and discover that magic is exactly what it is and all it ever could be and nothing more (and now that I am finished writing my sentence, may I be untied and have my cookie, please?)
Immanentizing the Eschaton?
by the White Mouse
A lot of human beings get perplexed over the oft spoken phrase "Immanentize the Eschaton". Their perplexity is either in proportion to their stupidity or in proportion to the amount of confusion in which Eris has placed them. (In the latter case, we have no complaints.) Let me spell it out in plain and simple terms so that even you bipedals can understand.
Firstly, Immanentizing the Eschaton DOES NOT refer to the end of the world, not at least in the ways you may think. You are thinking that eschaton refers to the end of the world, and in a very traditional Catholic sense, that is correct. But the deeper reference is towards a heavenly kingdom of God that is supposed to replace the world after the Apocalypse. Are you still with me here?
In the Church (the Christian one, not the Erisian one), the sin of immanentizing the eschaton was supposedly what was wrong with both the Hermetic Orders and the majority of social justice movements. Thus the often referred to conspiracy theory positing the various Hermetic Orders, often called Illuminati, as being behind every major social revolution in Western civilization. Why did the Church call it a sin? Because they felt that only God's Messiah (a.k.a. The Big JC) could usher in the eschaton. Thus, all those supposed illuminati groups and all those social revolutionaries were trying to take God's matter into their own hands. They were trying to "make the kingdom of heaven" on Earth, in this world (thus, immanentizing the eschaton). To the Church, this was an absolute no-no.
Seeing that eschaton can really refer to the "End Times" or the end of the world as we know it, then many human beings often assume that to immanentize it, means to bring the world to an end. (And believe me, this world as you humans presently know it would have to well nigh end before you would let heaven be born here.) This makes sense only if you lapse over the meaning of the word immanent. The word is immANent, not immINent. ImmANent means in everything, everywhere and immINent means close-by. Got that? So to immANentize the eschaton simply means to make that "End Times" exist everywhere, not to bring it closer. Why? Because it is already going on, all the time. The point is to simply realize that it is going on all the time. As for eschatons, since they/he/she/it is everywhere and in everything, than they/she/it/he are everywhere, happening all the time. (Ever hear of heaven or hell being born from your state of mind?)
Have I lost you yet? (I tried.)
Let me reiterate that the eschaton is already immanentizing all the time. The only question of the matter is are you going to deny it and try to stop it, or are you going to realize it? Immanentizing the Eschaton as a phrase is simply the reminder that this process of 'ending times' and 'rebirth' is going on everywhere constantly. Think of it as Chaos, or the Lifeforce, or what have you. The Discordians for Softer Sandpaper are always going on about the Apocalypse existing in crumpled up newspapers. Despite being funny, they have a point there, whether they realize it or not.
So never mind all those old Christian accusations and never mind all the Satanists who like to claim to be immanentizing the eschaton. Eris is playing a joke on them, as usual. And remember to not let THEM (whoever the hell THEY are) immanentize the eschaton. We can do that so much better than they can. Kallisti!
[Note: The above was transcribed by a certain Discordian individual who claims to have invented the White Mouse. The White Mouse denies that allegation and instead claims to have invented the individual solely for the purposes of transcribing his speeches. None of this has anything to do with corndogs.]
Hailing Eris
by St. Kallista of the Purple Monkey Mafia/Cabal (also known as the Discordians for Softer Sandpaper Society)
Much has been made of "Hail Eris!", the most famously used phrase of we non-stick Discordians. Many like to ask why we do it and what it means. Since this is a 'magical' chain book of some sort, I will explain it somewhat. Hailing Eris is really like hailing a taxi. It gets you some attention, and possibly even a ride somewhere. It is not an act of worship, unless you want it to be. It is simply a way of greeting one another, or of deriding one another. It can also be used conveniently as a swear word, though Eris may not be in a good mood when you choose to do so and woe befall you if She should happen to take the hailing seriously and show up to see you whining.
On the 'occult' side of things, hailing Eris is an effective banishing of all aneristic energies which may be around... such as Serious Discordians getting pissy, High Magi complaining about Aeonic shifts, or other Cabbage-like things which may interfere with your elaborately unplanned and spectacularly spontaneous magical rites. All you need do is simply yell HAIL ERIS at the top of your voice, laugh, and then you are ready to start.
If the first hailing Eris doesn't do the trick for some reason, such as not having holes in your socks or some other impediment to magical effectiveness, simply repeat it again. Or use the Greek phrase Io Eris Elandros! Io Eris Elepgolis! That ought to raise hairs and do the trick. And if that doesn't work, you can always try other methods of banishing, such as spraying beer all around, gobbling like a turkey, or start yelling "Boo!", as Thornley pointed out.
Hailing Eris at random times throughout your day/night is also recommended. But you know if you are simply showing off to the non-Discordians (are there still any?) than you may as well use KALLISTI, but that's a topic for another time.
Excerpts from the Complete Book of "This is Just a Working Title"
From the Apocrypha Discordia
As revealed to Lord [INSERT NAME HERE], Of the Astoundingly Annoying Alliteration Cabal (3AC)
Shamelessly included here by a random Discordian pope who felt that this chainbook needed a proper account of Discordian eschatological erudition. And what 'magical' text can do without such a thing? (Poke through those holes in your socks and wipe that gin off your face.)
The Beginning
(Being an Account of the End Times)
(1) Eris appeared before me, and spake, saying, "At the end of all time, all the peoples of Earth will descend into the fiery pit of hell."
(2) And I asked, "Will following your commandments prevent this?" And Eris spake again, saying "No."
(3) And I didst weep, for I knew then that I was doomed.
(4) And Eris spake again, saying "Only kidding! I made that up." I didst say "What?"
(5) But Eris was gone, and I drunk from the Tequila bottle once again.
The End
(Being an Account of the Creation)
(1) In the beginning, there was the Word. And the Word was "Oops!"
(2) And Eris didst create Night and Day, and saw that it was good.
(3) And Eris didst create Light and Dark, and saw that it was good.
(4) And Eris didst see the fundamental illogic of the order of (2) and (3).
(5) And Eris didst say "bugger all this for a lark" and didst dispel night by creating the electric lightbulb. And Eris didst become bored, and didst leave it to another deity to sort it all out.
The Law of Laws
(Being an Account of the Law of Laws)
(1) All laws are incorrect, except those which are correct.
(2) All incorrect laws are correct, except those which are not.
(3) All correct laws are incorrect, inasmuch as they are not correct, but correct, inasmuch as they may be.
(4) All laws that may be correct are correct, unless they are otherwise.
(5) There are always five laws.
ERIS AND HER MANIFESTATIONS
from The Book of Eris, as revealed to St. Verthaine the Goth
ERIS is that which encompasses the Universe and gives it dimension. HER height cannot be measured nor HER depths fathomed. SHE made visible what at first had no form. Flowing like a fountain HER energies penetrated the void and filled space. By ceaselessly flowing, SHE transformed murky chaos into crystal clearness. ERIS is that which penetrates the Universe and touches every part of it. SHE cannot be exhausted; SHE knows neither exuberance nor decay. If SHE could be opened out SHE would fill the entire Multiverse; if SHE could be gathered together, SHE would not even fill a child's hand.
Though SHE can be contracted, SHE can also be expanded; though SHE is obscure, SHE can become clear; though SHE is weak, SHE can become strong; though SHE is soft, SHE can become hard. ERIS contains the balance of the masculine and the feminine, SHE contains the balance of the light and the dark; SHE holds together the Universe and Time, and supplies the great with inspiration.
ERIS is so tenuous and subtle that SHE pervades everything like water soaked earth. It is by ERIS that mountains are high, and abysses deep; that beasts walk and birds fly; that the sun and moon are bright, and the stars revolve in their courses. All mysteries arise from HER, and are resolved by HER. When the wise obtain the power inherent in ERIS, and are established in the center, they walk with the highest spiritual beings and all the Universe is at peace.
The Principles of Discordian Magick - A very loose Discussion
from the Apocrypha Discordia
A document to be included in the forthcoming _Confunomicon_ by Lord Falgan, F.M., K.S.C. Novus Οrdо Seclorum Erisium
dedicated to The Prettiest One
Okay, this is a discussion on magick, eh? Whoa, like, conjuring demons, throwing hexes, and predicting the future? Manipulation of the Hodge/Podge to TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION?! No. First off, any demons that might be around aren t gonna waste time with Discordians (they re after the Greyfaced Religions, cause the guilt they can lay on them ). Throwing hexes is painful, and bad for the joints. And if you are worried about the future, and world domination, then you have no business trying out magick anyway. So, like, what is Discordian magick, eh? Okay, Discordian magick is a way in which the Discordian practicing it (called the Phool) can either add to or create Eristic Vibes or deflect or destroy Aneristic Vibes.
Some Terms:
Vibes: Psycho-emotional energy given off be humans and other creatures.
Eristic: Pertaining to Eris; pertaining to chaos in general.
Aneristic: Against Eris; pertaining to order in general.
Phool: one who is aware of the presence an actions of Vibes and uses Discordian Magick to manipulate the same
Face: An aspect of Discordian Magick; the category of magick.
Nature: The end-product of Discordian Magick.
Hodge: The pseudo-Zen force of Order in the world.
Podge: The pseudo-Zen force of Chaos in the world.
The Doctrine: things have a tendency to work out ok in the end.
Ju-Ju: The "aftershocks" of Discordian Magick; the long-term effects.
The Sacred Chao: The image of the Hodge and Podge.
Greyface: One who unconsciously generates Aneristic Vibes.
THEM: A group who consciously generates Aneristic Vibes; Phools gone Greyface.
Discordian: One who unconsciously generates Eristic Vibes.
Norm: A normal, vibe-unaware, guy-on-the-street. Typically Aneristic, due to the great amount of ambient Aneristic Vibes in the world.
Vibes: what they be.
Okay, vibes are like energy which is given off by all creatures. You may know of Vril or Kirlian Aura or Alpha Waves or some other nonsense. Vibes may or may not be them, its really not important. What IS important is that they exist, and if they exist, then they can be manipulated and created and destroyed. (Destroying waves can be bad Ju-ju. Be careful.) How do we know vibes are there? Because, if you open up, you can feel them. You're being hit by them all the time, just most people aren't aware of them. Next time someone is being extremely chaotic, notice how that person's actions and presence affect you... the same for someone being extremely ordered. Sometimes, the vibes can change your mood, your attitude, even your health. So, now that I know the vibes are there, what can I do with them? Okay, eh? So, there are two basic kinds of vibes: Eristic and Aneristic.
Eristic Vibes are pulses of chaotic energy, while Aneristic Vibes are pulses of ordered energy... this means the fundamental concepts of chaos and order, not the waves themselves. (I.E. if vibes have a structure, both Eristic and Aneristic probably have the same structure. It is the kind of energy which differs, not the structure.) Eristic Vibes USUALLY cause Chaos, Discord and Confusion (the first three Faces (q.v.)) and Aneristic Vibes USUALLY cause Bureaucracy and Aftermath (the last two Faces). I say USUALLY because, like most things, there are several occasions when the five will cross over. A Phool must learn to appreciate the spinning of the Chao, and the counter-push-pull of the Hodge and Podge, and learn when Eristic Vibes are needed, and when Aneristic Vibes are needed. As a very general rule, the world needs more Eristic Vibes... there are far more Greyfaces in the world than there are Discordians.
Faces
Okay, eh, Discordian Magick is not exempt from the Law of Fives. There are five facets to Discordian Magic, just like the five faces of a pentagon. Ergo, to keep in line with this analogy, these aspects of magick have been termed "Faces". The 5 Faces are, naturally: Chaos, Discord, Confusion, Bureaucracy , and Aftermath. When a Phool manipulates Vibes, the method in which the Vibes are manipulated is defined by the Face.
Some brief explanations:
Chaos: Vibes manipulated within the Face of Chaos, generally speaking, are designed simply to increase the amount of Eristic Energy in the area. Chaos magick is specifically unorganized, and often purposeless. It is used to change mood, tone, and is also a way to banish Greyfaces.
Discord: Vibes manipulated within the Face of Discord are deigned to affect large numbers of Norms, and sometimes Greyfaces. It is the second most destructive form of magick, and requires care in its use. It causes Norms to act in ways they would not normally, often for reasons they do not fully comprehend.
Confusion: The most common form of magick, Vibes manipulated within the Face of Confusion is a Discordians primary weapon against Anerism. It is a subtle form of magick, designed to gradually wean norms and Greyfaces from their hopeless addiction to Aneristic Vibes.
Bureaucracy: Vibes manipulated within the Face of Bureaucracy must be treated with care, as they can easily slip into Aneristic ones instead of Eristic. Bureaucratic Magick is designed to affect a large number of Norms into unconsciously succumbing to Eristic Influence. When used especially well, this form of magick is particularly effective against Greyfaces, as they may not even know that they are being manipulated.
Aftermath: Vibes manipulated within the Face of Aftermath are the most dangerous tool a Phool can use. They are by far the most destructive, and involve a permanent destruction of Vibes, and a ceasing of the Spinning of the Chao. Aftermath Magick is serious stuff. It means a closing and a termination of Energy. Don't use this stuff unless you're, like, really sure of yourself and are prepared to accept responsibility for the Ju-Ju you may cause.
Nature, eh?
The Nature of Magick is not really an integral part of the Magick, but it helps the Phool to classify the effect his magick will have on the world. There are many natures, but some of the basic ones are:
Creative: Designed to create ambient vibes. Usually called "Eristic Creative" or "Aneristic Creative".
Destructive: As Creative, but designed to destroy the vibes in question.
Anti-Greyface: Countering Aneristic attacks by Greyfaces, or planting seeds of Chaos in their subconscious.
Personal: Magick designed to alter the Phool's own moods, feelings, and attitudes. Helps recover from Aneristic attacks.
Ritual: The ritual is a means of simply causing Ju-Ju. It rarely has immediate effects, but when done, the Vibe Ju-Ju will cause long- term effects which the Phool may desire.
Oracle: A means of "seeing the future"... not really, but what it does is open the Phool's mind to ideas which may indeed affect the future.
Part Five
This has been a very basic introduction into the theories and practice of Discordian Magick. It has been presented in hopes of laying a groundwork for further study and explanation in the upcoming work _The Confunomicon_.
Hail Eris!
All Hail Discordia!
Ⓚ 3175 Cabaletta Texts- all rites reversed, reprint what you like but please credit me, fnord?
Novus Οrdо Seclorum Erisium
Discordian Opening Ritual
by Prince Prance
(as it appears in the Book of Eris)
1. Clap x5
2. The Erisian Cross:
"Light in my Head
Fire in my genitals
Strength at my Right side
Laughter at my Left side
Love in my Heart."
3. Trace Spiral Pentagrams at the 4 quarters & zenith.
4. Face East:
"Blessed Apostle Hung Mung, great Sage of Cathay, Balance the Hodge and Podge and grant us equilibrium."
5. Face South:
"Blessed Apostle Van Van Mojo, Doctor of Hoodoo and Vexes, Give us the Voodoo Power and confuse our enemies."
6. Face West:
"Blessed Apostle Sri Syadasti, patron of psychedelia, Teach us the relative truth and blow our minds."
7. Face North:
"Blessed Apostle Zarathud, hard-nosed hermit, Grant us the Erisian doubt, and the constancy of Chaos."
8. Look up (or down):
"Blessed Apostle Malaclypse, Elder Saint of Discordia, Grant us illumination and protect us from stupidity."
9. Look all over the place:
"Great Goddess Discordia, Holy Mother Eris, Joy of the Universe, Laughter of Space, Grant us Life, Light, Love and Liberty and make the bloody magick work!"
10. "Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia.!
Notes:
1) Hung Mung is the Discordian link to the Chinese Mysteries and it is none other than he who devised the Sacred Chao. He is patron of the Season of Chaos.
2) Dr. Van Van Mojo is a fellow of the Intergalactic Haitian Guerillas for World Peace and is Patron of the Season of Discord.
3) Sri Syadasti is the Apostle of Psychedelia and the Patron of the Season of Confusion
4) Zarathud, a Hermit of Medieval Europe, has been dubbed "Offender of the Faith." He is Patron of the season of Bureaucracy."
5) Malaclypse the Elder is alleged to have been an ancient wiseman who carried as sign bearing the legend "DUMB" through the alleys of Rome, Baghdad, Mecca, Jerusalem, and some other places. He is Patron of the season of Aftermath.
Chaos: a few words
by St. Hugh, KSC of the Discordians for Softer Sandpaper Society
(a part of the Tzaddik Rouge / Purple Monkey Discordian Jihad)
Contrived order is insidious, invidious, and usurious. It taxes you unjustly, stealing your energy and desires for the benefit of its supporters who lie and tell you that magic is impossible.
The magician, witch, alchemist, shaman/ka, or even clown, is touched by this knowledge and experience in a way that ordinary reality and social consensus cannot account for nor explain. Dare you to stand at the font of inspiration that gives rise to all existence and claim to truly know it? Liar!
Visitations 13:5
from The Honest Book of Truth
And upon this day I say unto you: Each Sentient Being is an Incarnation of Me, and whosoever upon hearing this Truth shall come to know it, is blessed; and twice blessed are they who shall be unable again to forget it; but thrice-blessed is that Man or Woman who needed never to be told.
INVOKING WEIRDNESS
from APIKORSUS
(an essay on the diverse practices of Chaos Magick, from the L.O.O.N.)
My old Adept used to say to me "Laddie, there ain't nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it." So off we went in full Golden Dawn regalia to hold back the tide at Bournemouth seafront. After that, he had me doing sigils to make Harold Macmillan s hair stand on end. He gave his life to magick, he said, after meeting Crowley in a Turkish Bath, but he had boundless enthusiasm which was infective. You felt you could do it, no matter how silly or nonsensical it was. He was fond of saying "if the kingdom of heaven is within you, why spend more than 10 pounds on occult books?" Here are some of the things he had me doing:
Everything we know boils down to supposition in the end, so reverse all statements, or put "nots" into assertions, and leap before you look. Wake up one day and attempt to banish your everyday reality - everything becomes new, unfamiliar and totally baffling. Objects become intense and frightening.
Be Wrong. We spend a lot of time striving for Right answers, right beliefs, doing it right. Doing it right = confidence = success. Bo-ring! Be Wrong!
Gods and Gurus. Possession by a God or Spirit allows you to do things you would not ordinarily do. A guru gives proof that you can walk a tightrope without falling off, that you can play in the deep end of the swimming pool without drowning. Insanity seems to be an occupational hazard of magicians. Better be mad now and save time later. Harpo Marx was the greatest Hollywood shaman. Could you blow up a rubber glove and then milk it?
Sanity is out there rather than in your head, since most people seem to see themselves as crazier than everyone else. If we voice too many mad thoughts, we get locked up. I recall a woman in the local asylum who thought she was a bird in a cage - she d learnt to keep quiet about this as telling people only got her extra medication and ECT. Being safe is being sane - not expressing your mad thoughts. Magick can be about letting your mad thoughts out to stalk the streets in gangs.
Magick is a street thing. Magicians must be seen and heard. Crowley s trickster persona exemplified this, following in the zigzag path of Cagliostro, Simon Magus, and innumerable Shamans and Witches worldwide. A good magician plays to his audience, be it a tribal shaman doing Ifa or a street-corner sorcerer making anti-cop talismans out of tin can lids. Learn to juggle, dance, play Irish Stand-down; these are the true siddhis. If you re really going to become a jumped-up little megalomaniac, you might as well get a few laughs while you re about it. Pass the Top Hat.
A midnight snack for thought
by DJ Rubberducky
Forget Gandhi's words about how we must be the change we wish to see in the world. We are the change we will make in the world.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Thee Chain-Booke az ov now.
Kopyleft(k) 2004. All Rites Reversed. Copy and distribute freely.
KALLISTI!
A Collection of Magical Ideas and Doings,
which is Most Interesting,
from One Branch of the Discordian Movement,
Whatever That May Be.
Introduction to Thee Chain Booke, wherein Evereething is Explained; Possibly
by Tequilarius Malignatus, KSC, KNS, ov thee Discordian Society
You are because we are and we are because you are. Illumination is really only a light switch away, but only if you can get Buddha Out of the Damned Way. Damned Thing, who do you think you are to deny thyselves? Reject, then, the tepid contrivances and false emotions of usurious Order and its invidious pseudo-Civilization! Proclaim an Anarchy of thy Hearts! Face the Chaos that authorities for millenia have been teaching you to fear. Wake up and become your own person, no matter what the slave-drivers have promised you in return for your ignorance. Learn for yourselves what Adepts have been learning for centuries; that humanity is in a degraded collection of societies enthralled to outlooks that declare irrelevant the things that are relevant, and that declare immaterial the things that do matter.
Besides all that, is it possible to practice magic with results?
If you think not, then proceed no further. You are wasting your time and its best that you don't know what we're up to anyway. Go back to the life you thought you knew you had before ever reading this. We will carry on just fine without you.
If you think so, then please continue. You may understand some of what follows. Maybe not. But what fun would it be to read a 'magical text' without trudging through incomprehensible meander? Huh? We promise to provide hours of laughter and tears (and years of psychological disintegration, possibly) as you try to understand, get confused, become frustrated, and then finally understand, only to be wrong, in the end. All Hail Discordia! Or at least pass the tequila, if hailing Eris isn't your thing. If you think this is a joke of some sort, think again because you may just be right some of the time. Rest assured that this book will not be the end all or the be all of any sort when it comes to Pop-Tarts...uh, I mean magic.
You are lying! Stop that.
Interested, and interesting Magicians, Witches, Chaoists, Discordians, and other Divers Weird People, Artists, Occultists and/or Pagans who feel the need, urge, impetus, prerogative, motions, vibrations, or what-have-you, to contribute anything interesting/interested, should send us pieces to be placed into this CHAIN BOOK herein, for the edification, illumination, entertainment, and/or practice of all those who may read this at some point or other. Otherwise just take whatever version of this chain-book you find, add to it, and send it off elsewhere. Don't worry about the fnords, they can't see you. FnoRd.
Thee Arte, Kaos, and Craeft ov Witchereez
a Ritchual by Frater Stupidius, Prelator of Mung
It iz time to free your mind from thee filth ov overtelevation and get down to some reezults magik. To that end, read and try the following rite dealing with certain things and certain mystereez, which will open your mind to chaotic workings.
Thee Preeliminareez
To start off, there are fivez in evereething around you.
To second off, evereething you research will tend to support your theoreez.
To third it off, lern thee sacredlee irreverant spiral pentagram ritual to invoke thee deitee of your choice, most likelee Eris, regardless ov whomever you call upon.
To forth it off, bring thee sacred implements to be destroyed as part of thee holee banishment.
To fifth it off, imbibe yourself in the immersion of holee gnostic ekstaseez. (Some preefer thee spirits in thee bottle, otherz preefer other methodz.)
Thee Ritchual
Spin around in thee mysterious state you have found yourself in. Visualize thee deezire/z clearlee in your mind'z eye.
It iz most effectiv if you raize up thru yourself enough energeez to cause a local power-outage, or something to that eeffect. (You get thee idea.)
Stop thee spinning and either/eether stand or sit. Feel thee energeez thuslee raized spiral out in a chaotic vortex.
Burn thee sacred tools that you hav decided to burn. Allow the energee thus reeleased to merge with the vortex you hav now created.
To keep thee energeez continuing, start to spin around again.
It may be most helpful to hav otherz around you shouting random chaotic phrazez of a majikal eefect in unintelligible fashion. Or, if practicing solo, to hav some sort of chaotic muzik playing, preeferablee more than one source to add to thee eefect.
Launch thee energeez and any other information you wish to add into thee greater world around yourself.
Thee Banishing
You hav alreadee done so in the burning of thee tools or other things. So to cloze thee ritchual, stop thee spinning and wait until your mind and body has reecovered. When you are able to walk without problems balancing, thee ritchual iz clozed.
Congratulations! You are now a practioner of chaotic witchereez! Declare yourself whatever it iz that you wish to be declared az. So mote it be, az long az thee motes are not in your eyez.
That iz all for now.
[Note: St. Kallista is ov thee most humble opinion that thee preeceeding ritchual has been entirelee mispelled and that thee correct spelling is "Pfft!" Ov course, I must disagree holeheartedlee.]
An Exegesis of the Irrationale behind, underneath, inside, and over Chaos Magic; Possibly
by Tequilarius Malignatus, KSC, KNS, 23C, ov thee Discordians for Softer Sandpaper Society
Stop reading occult books! Stop! Now!
It is better to throw away all those expensive magical tools and robes and other odd occult-like objects. Take a look around you at the tools you ignore in your everyday life: The televisions, the computers, the cellphones, the streets, microwaves, et al. These are the tools ov thee prezent Aeon, the digital-electronic-information age, the society of the sigils. Look around you and see the sigils that lay out in the open as logos and phrases that reach into your desires, virus-like, and twist them to another's power. If you can not do this now, you will forever be a slave to someone else's myths, someone else's gods, someone else's thoughtforms...a half-human phantom with pseudo-emotions and tepid desires.
Chaos is the reminder that you are free, if you so choose. Magic is the realization of this and the subsequent changes brought about to manifest this. It is the ecstatic struggle to destroy the viral thoughtforms and patterns that keep you enslaved to the deadening and gray limits of authority: That vile beast that masquerades as our protector and comfort, but only when it can get what it wants of us. If your magical teachers have not given you hints of this, then your teachers have been lying to you and themselves. Magic is about reclaiming the sources of your own power. Anything else is just pseudo-intellectual occult diddling.
The final criterion over whether magic is successful or not is THE RESULT (a.k.a. 'thee rezult'). There is no other useful criterion, despite what the liars have been saying for generations. The ultimate decisions of the matter must be made by yourselves. DO IT YOURSELVES! Don't wait for anyone else, and don't waste your money on expensive seminars or books. Look within, find your desire, and then enchant for it, in whatever that means to you. Many will say that you can't do that simple action, unless you know the proper ways of doing it, and then they will try to convince that their ways are best. But that iz crap. Don't let them shove their own mental bullshit down your ears! Don't let them immanentize the eschaton! You are your own immanentizing of your own eschaton! Take it upon yourselves to manifest your intentions and desires in whatever ways get THE RESULT. Let the armchairists stay in their armchairs, whining and complaining about how nobody respects their second-hand systems anymore. So be it. So mote it be. Io Chaos!
We are in the Aftermath, the rise of the Chaoist Age. If that means the destruction of the Global System of privilege-for-the-few-at-the-expense-of-the-many, than so be it. And may Eris hasten the coming of that day. In the meantime, we Chaoists have our work cut out for us, and if not, then we'll cut out our own damned work for ourselves. You can sit there and wait for the damn paradigm shift all you want, but we'll wonder why you don't just shift your own filthy paradigms. Afterall, they need to be switched every so often for healthy mental functions and more potent magical operations.
Perhaps I am just wasting my words. Perhaps the corporations have really taken hold over people's hearts. Perhaps the only useful thing to do is to enchant for an elaborate destruction of the economy and then just go crawl into a nice hermetically sealed cave somewhere to wait out the storm. I can then, safely from a distance, watch the automatons decide to cut each other's throats, instead of working amongst themselves to be free. Perhaps. Perhaps I am an automaton and this is all a lie. Perhaps. Perhaps, I will just stay in the thick of the fray, throwing Apples of Discord into the mix. Who can say? But the time is now. Chaos is alive. Magic is real. What are you going to do about it?
Chylde ov Kaos?
by St. Anonymous, of thee Purple Monkey Mafia/Cabal and thee Erisian Liberation Front
The Chaoist is fulfilled when such a person can learn anything and everything, merging into whatever chosen tradition and absorbing it wholeheartedly, while not ultimately being bound by that tradition. Thus it is said that the Beginner's Mind is essential. Indeed. The Beginner's Mind is essential not only to learn anything and everything, but also Beginner's Mind in outlook, attitude, and practice is the mark of the Chaoist adept. Thus the Chaoist can love more than one tradition each much more fully than some adherents who stay within one tradition their whole lives.
Any magical system one initiates study and practice of can only be fully appreciated, embodied, and learned from within the Beginner's Mind. Thus it is said that one's cup must be empty before it can be filled totally. This is the essential approach of the Children of Chaos. For further information, consult the pineal gland.
The Magic Sentence
by gnimbley the gnome
Without appearing to be redundant, the concept of magic (or its functional equivalent) as a solution to your problems during your travails in this particular time space continuum could be thought of as a metaphor for how you interpret the world (or its functional equivalent) around you - as if it were something you could interpret (as opposed to something you would flirt with) without falling prey to its insidious trappings and hooks, the false theology that replaced the messiah of your youth (who was neither true nor false nor anything in between) with the materialism of your desire (the eBay of your soul), the blanket expressionism that binds you to the rituals you consciously ape, as it were - and the practice that adheres you to the hierarchical restrictions imposed by an orderly and well processed orthodoxy (or a chaotic and disorderly meliorism) may seem to temper your mind and focus your thelematic power, but relies it must (oh, it must!) on the servitude of your spirit to the clandestine gluttony (slurp, slurp) of the lords and masters who seek to extract your marrow through the straw (strawberry flavored, we hope) of obedience, enhance their corruption, misdirect the blind, and eviscerate the naive (even as you read this you are being conditioned (obfuscated) by a religion that denies its own existence), while leaving you with breadcrumbs from a darkened trail through a lengthy and withered forest where you find the pristine paths of enlightenment (the Truth is outside your existence) trampled underneath the stampede of eagerly emaciated sheep, without whose blood to drink the powers that bind your mind with strips of torn philosophy (conveniently borrowed unacknowledged from older, forgotten (and frequently fraudulently fabricated), but no less discredited sources they hide in secret scarlet boxes (encased in black satin bulses) stored beneath opulent four poster beds spread with satin pillows and gold threaded blankets and the warm, musky, captive meadow of moistened dreams) would perish, for should you discover the smoke behind their mirror (countervailing theory: everything is derived from warblings in the quantum flux, in other words the universe is an error and life is a mistake; believe nothing you read) and break free of the tenuous hold you have surrendered to them (or their functional equivalent) they will have only their own selves (to blame) to draw from and that is insufficient to feed their greed; but your own desire derives from within your own self (or its functional equivalent), out of which only you can extract the essence (a recipe for which is forthcoming in a later edition) of that which you are without betraying the ectoplasmic envelope (or water vessel) which defines the hole you make in time space and in which is harbored not just your pleasure and your desire but also your lust and your hate (and your next door neighbor) and your failure and your delusion, making it imperative that you cast off the encrusted carapace that has been grafted onto your perception by years of socialization and anti-socialization (yin and yang, toast and coffee, Balder's Creek is rising) and in its place pour only the energy of your own light (or dark), because even rebellion against the machine has betrayed you with another machine (kitchen sink), created by those who would have you believe (lest you believe what they warn you against, for the against which you struggle is not the against of theirs but of yours) their tattered morality (raised whole cloth from dirt and ashes); which draws you to the self being the solution to which magic is the problem if you are seeking a shortcut to the restructuring of reality (or its functional equivalent), for such is the nature of the space time fabric (or tapestry, if you prefer) that shortcuts are a long ways (through blind alleys of thrashing machines and seedy bars of boygs and forgotten fraudulent tomes, into which you fall lengthwise without safety (nevertheless, where there is an unachievable peace and serenity waiting)), yet paths do exist along a myriad of inner dimensions through which magic (or its functional equivalent) can work if you understand the valley you occupy and the hilltop you seek, which is not the destination that you have been told to seek nor the one you have been trained to seek or even the one you want to seek (but does come with a really nifty toaster oven), but merely the point at which you achieve freedom from delusion and discover that magic is exactly what it is and all it ever could be and nothing more (and now that I am finished writing my sentence, may I be untied and have my cookie, please?)
Immanentizing the Eschaton?
by the White Mouse
A lot of human beings get perplexed over the oft spoken phrase "Immanentize the Eschaton". Their perplexity is either in proportion to their stupidity or in proportion to the amount of confusion in which Eris has placed them. (In the latter case, we have no complaints.) Let me spell it out in plain and simple terms so that even you bipedals can understand.
Firstly, Immanentizing the Eschaton DOES NOT refer to the end of the world, not at least in the ways you may think. You are thinking that eschaton refers to the end of the world, and in a very traditional Catholic sense, that is correct. But the deeper reference is towards a heavenly kingdom of God that is supposed to replace the world after the Apocalypse. Are you still with me here?
In the Church (the Christian one, not the Erisian one), the sin of immanentizing the eschaton was supposedly what was wrong with both the Hermetic Orders and the majority of social justice movements. Thus the often referred to conspiracy theory positing the various Hermetic Orders, often called Illuminati, as being behind every major social revolution in Western civilization. Why did the Church call it a sin? Because they felt that only God's Messiah (a.k.a. The Big JC) could usher in the eschaton. Thus, all those supposed illuminati groups and all those social revolutionaries were trying to take God's matter into their own hands. They were trying to "make the kingdom of heaven" on Earth, in this world (thus, immanentizing the eschaton). To the Church, this was an absolute no-no.
Seeing that eschaton can really refer to the "End Times" or the end of the world as we know it, then many human beings often assume that to immanentize it, means to bring the world to an end. (And believe me, this world as you humans presently know it would have to well nigh end before you would let heaven be born here.) This makes sense only if you lapse over the meaning of the word immanent. The word is immANent, not immINent. ImmANent means in everything, everywhere and immINent means close-by. Got that? So to immANentize the eschaton simply means to make that "End Times" exist everywhere, not to bring it closer. Why? Because it is already going on, all the time. The point is to simply realize that it is going on all the time. As for eschatons, since they/he/she/it is everywhere and in everything, than they/she/it/he are everywhere, happening all the time. (Ever hear of heaven or hell being born from your state of mind?)
Have I lost you yet? (I tried.)
Let me reiterate that the eschaton is already immanentizing all the time. The only question of the matter is are you going to deny it and try to stop it, or are you going to realize it? Immanentizing the Eschaton as a phrase is simply the reminder that this process of 'ending times' and 'rebirth' is going on everywhere constantly. Think of it as Chaos, or the Lifeforce, or what have you. The Discordians for Softer Sandpaper are always going on about the Apocalypse existing in crumpled up newspapers. Despite being funny, they have a point there, whether they realize it or not.
So never mind all those old Christian accusations and never mind all the Satanists who like to claim to be immanentizing the eschaton. Eris is playing a joke on them, as usual. And remember to not let THEM (whoever the hell THEY are) immanentize the eschaton. We can do that so much better than they can. Kallisti!
[Note: The above was transcribed by a certain Discordian individual who claims to have invented the White Mouse. The White Mouse denies that allegation and instead claims to have invented the individual solely for the purposes of transcribing his speeches. None of this has anything to do with corndogs.]
Hailing Eris
by St. Kallista of the Purple Monkey Mafia/Cabal (also known as the Discordians for Softer Sandpaper Society)
Much has been made of "Hail Eris!", the most famously used phrase of we non-stick Discordians. Many like to ask why we do it and what it means. Since this is a 'magical' chain book of some sort, I will explain it somewhat. Hailing Eris is really like hailing a taxi. It gets you some attention, and possibly even a ride somewhere. It is not an act of worship, unless you want it to be. It is simply a way of greeting one another, or of deriding one another. It can also be used conveniently as a swear word, though Eris may not be in a good mood when you choose to do so and woe befall you if She should happen to take the hailing seriously and show up to see you whining.
On the 'occult' side of things, hailing Eris is an effective banishing of all aneristic energies which may be around... such as Serious Discordians getting pissy, High Magi complaining about Aeonic shifts, or other Cabbage-like things which may interfere with your elaborately unplanned and spectacularly spontaneous magical rites. All you need do is simply yell HAIL ERIS at the top of your voice, laugh, and then you are ready to start.
If the first hailing Eris doesn't do the trick for some reason, such as not having holes in your socks or some other impediment to magical effectiveness, simply repeat it again. Or use the Greek phrase Io Eris Elandros! Io Eris Elepgolis! That ought to raise hairs and do the trick. And if that doesn't work, you can always try other methods of banishing, such as spraying beer all around, gobbling like a turkey, or start yelling "Boo!", as Thornley pointed out.
Hailing Eris at random times throughout your day/night is also recommended. But you know if you are simply showing off to the non-Discordians (are there still any?) than you may as well use KALLISTI, but that's a topic for another time.
Excerpts from the Complete Book of "This is Just a Working Title"
From the Apocrypha Discordia
As revealed to Lord [INSERT NAME HERE], Of the Astoundingly Annoying Alliteration Cabal (3AC)
Shamelessly included here by a random Discordian pope who felt that this chainbook needed a proper account of Discordian eschatological erudition. And what 'magical' text can do without such a thing? (Poke through those holes in your socks and wipe that gin off your face.)
The Beginning
(Being an Account of the End Times)
(1) Eris appeared before me, and spake, saying, "At the end of all time, all the peoples of Earth will descend into the fiery pit of hell."
(2) And I asked, "Will following your commandments prevent this?" And Eris spake again, saying "No."
(3) And I didst weep, for I knew then that I was doomed.
(4) And Eris spake again, saying "Only kidding! I made that up." I didst say "What?"
(5) But Eris was gone, and I drunk from the Tequila bottle once again.
The End
(Being an Account of the Creation)
(1) In the beginning, there was the Word. And the Word was "Oops!"
(2) And Eris didst create Night and Day, and saw that it was good.
(3) And Eris didst create Light and Dark, and saw that it was good.
(4) And Eris didst see the fundamental illogic of the order of (2) and (3).
(5) And Eris didst say "bugger all this for a lark" and didst dispel night by creating the electric lightbulb. And Eris didst become bored, and didst leave it to another deity to sort it all out.
The Law of Laws
(Being an Account of the Law of Laws)
(1) All laws are incorrect, except those which are correct.
(2) All incorrect laws are correct, except those which are not.
(3) All correct laws are incorrect, inasmuch as they are not correct, but correct, inasmuch as they may be.
(4) All laws that may be correct are correct, unless they are otherwise.
(5) There are always five laws.
ERIS AND HER MANIFESTATIONS
from The Book of Eris, as revealed to St. Verthaine the Goth
ERIS is that which encompasses the Universe and gives it dimension. HER height cannot be measured nor HER depths fathomed. SHE made visible what at first had no form. Flowing like a fountain HER energies penetrated the void and filled space. By ceaselessly flowing, SHE transformed murky chaos into crystal clearness. ERIS is that which penetrates the Universe and touches every part of it. SHE cannot be exhausted; SHE knows neither exuberance nor decay. If SHE could be opened out SHE would fill the entire Multiverse; if SHE could be gathered together, SHE would not even fill a child's hand.
Though SHE can be contracted, SHE can also be expanded; though SHE is obscure, SHE can become clear; though SHE is weak, SHE can become strong; though SHE is soft, SHE can become hard. ERIS contains the balance of the masculine and the feminine, SHE contains the balance of the light and the dark; SHE holds together the Universe and Time, and supplies the great with inspiration.
ERIS is so tenuous and subtle that SHE pervades everything like water soaked earth. It is by ERIS that mountains are high, and abysses deep; that beasts walk and birds fly; that the sun and moon are bright, and the stars revolve in their courses. All mysteries arise from HER, and are resolved by HER. When the wise obtain the power inherent in ERIS, and are established in the center, they walk with the highest spiritual beings and all the Universe is at peace.
The Principles of Discordian Magick - A very loose Discussion
from the Apocrypha Discordia
A document to be included in the forthcoming _Confunomicon_ by Lord Falgan, F.M., K.S.C. Novus Οrdо Seclorum Erisium
dedicated to The Prettiest One
Okay, this is a discussion on magick, eh? Whoa, like, conjuring demons, throwing hexes, and predicting the future? Manipulation of the Hodge/Podge to TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION?! No. First off, any demons that might be around aren t gonna waste time with Discordians (they re after the Greyfaced Religions, cause the guilt they can lay on them ). Throwing hexes is painful, and bad for the joints. And if you are worried about the future, and world domination, then you have no business trying out magick anyway. So, like, what is Discordian magick, eh? Okay, Discordian magick is a way in which the Discordian practicing it (called the Phool) can either add to or create Eristic Vibes or deflect or destroy Aneristic Vibes.
Some Terms:
Vibes: Psycho-emotional energy given off be humans and other creatures.
Eristic: Pertaining to Eris; pertaining to chaos in general.
Aneristic: Against Eris; pertaining to order in general.
Phool: one who is aware of the presence an actions of Vibes and uses Discordian Magick to manipulate the same
Face: An aspect of Discordian Magick; the category of magick.
Nature: The end-product of Discordian Magick.
Hodge: The pseudo-Zen force of Order in the world.
Podge: The pseudo-Zen force of Chaos in the world.
The Doctrine: things have a tendency to work out ok in the end.
Ju-Ju: The "aftershocks" of Discordian Magick; the long-term effects.
The Sacred Chao: The image of the Hodge and Podge.
Greyface: One who unconsciously generates Aneristic Vibes.
THEM: A group who consciously generates Aneristic Vibes; Phools gone Greyface.
Discordian: One who unconsciously generates Eristic Vibes.
Norm: A normal, vibe-unaware, guy-on-the-street. Typically Aneristic, due to the great amount of ambient Aneristic Vibes in the world.
Vibes: what they be.
Okay, vibes are like energy which is given off by all creatures. You may know of Vril or Kirlian Aura or Alpha Waves or some other nonsense. Vibes may or may not be them, its really not important. What IS important is that they exist, and if they exist, then they can be manipulated and created and destroyed. (Destroying waves can be bad Ju-ju. Be careful.) How do we know vibes are there? Because, if you open up, you can feel them. You're being hit by them all the time, just most people aren't aware of them. Next time someone is being extremely chaotic, notice how that person's actions and presence affect you... the same for someone being extremely ordered. Sometimes, the vibes can change your mood, your attitude, even your health. So, now that I know the vibes are there, what can I do with them? Okay, eh? So, there are two basic kinds of vibes: Eristic and Aneristic.
Eristic Vibes are pulses of chaotic energy, while Aneristic Vibes are pulses of ordered energy... this means the fundamental concepts of chaos and order, not the waves themselves. (I.E. if vibes have a structure, both Eristic and Aneristic probably have the same structure. It is the kind of energy which differs, not the structure.) Eristic Vibes USUALLY cause Chaos, Discord and Confusion (the first three Faces (q.v.)) and Aneristic Vibes USUALLY cause Bureaucracy and Aftermath (the last two Faces). I say USUALLY because, like most things, there are several occasions when the five will cross over. A Phool must learn to appreciate the spinning of the Chao, and the counter-push-pull of the Hodge and Podge, and learn when Eristic Vibes are needed, and when Aneristic Vibes are needed. As a very general rule, the world needs more Eristic Vibes... there are far more Greyfaces in the world than there are Discordians.
Faces
Okay, eh, Discordian Magick is not exempt from the Law of Fives. There are five facets to Discordian Magic, just like the five faces of a pentagon. Ergo, to keep in line with this analogy, these aspects of magick have been termed "Faces". The 5 Faces are, naturally: Chaos, Discord, Confusion, Bureaucracy , and Aftermath. When a Phool manipulates Vibes, the method in which the Vibes are manipulated is defined by the Face.
Some brief explanations:
Chaos: Vibes manipulated within the Face of Chaos, generally speaking, are designed simply to increase the amount of Eristic Energy in the area. Chaos magick is specifically unorganized, and often purposeless. It is used to change mood, tone, and is also a way to banish Greyfaces.
Discord: Vibes manipulated within the Face of Discord are deigned to affect large numbers of Norms, and sometimes Greyfaces. It is the second most destructive form of magick, and requires care in its use. It causes Norms to act in ways they would not normally, often for reasons they do not fully comprehend.
Confusion: The most common form of magick, Vibes manipulated within the Face of Confusion is a Discordians primary weapon against Anerism. It is a subtle form of magick, designed to gradually wean norms and Greyfaces from their hopeless addiction to Aneristic Vibes.
Bureaucracy: Vibes manipulated within the Face of Bureaucracy must be treated with care, as they can easily slip into Aneristic ones instead of Eristic. Bureaucratic Magick is designed to affect a large number of Norms into unconsciously succumbing to Eristic Influence. When used especially well, this form of magick is particularly effective against Greyfaces, as they may not even know that they are being manipulated.
Aftermath: Vibes manipulated within the Face of Aftermath are the most dangerous tool a Phool can use. They are by far the most destructive, and involve a permanent destruction of Vibes, and a ceasing of the Spinning of the Chao. Aftermath Magick is serious stuff. It means a closing and a termination of Energy. Don't use this stuff unless you're, like, really sure of yourself and are prepared to accept responsibility for the Ju-Ju you may cause.
Nature, eh?
The Nature of Magick is not really an integral part of the Magick, but it helps the Phool to classify the effect his magick will have on the world. There are many natures, but some of the basic ones are:
Creative: Designed to create ambient vibes. Usually called "Eristic Creative" or "Aneristic Creative".
Destructive: As Creative, but designed to destroy the vibes in question.
Anti-Greyface: Countering Aneristic attacks by Greyfaces, or planting seeds of Chaos in their subconscious.
Personal: Magick designed to alter the Phool's own moods, feelings, and attitudes. Helps recover from Aneristic attacks.
Ritual: The ritual is a means of simply causing Ju-Ju. It rarely has immediate effects, but when done, the Vibe Ju-Ju will cause long- term effects which the Phool may desire.
Oracle: A means of "seeing the future"... not really, but what it does is open the Phool's mind to ideas which may indeed affect the future.
Part Five
This has been a very basic introduction into the theories and practice of Discordian Magick. It has been presented in hopes of laying a groundwork for further study and explanation in the upcoming work _The Confunomicon_.
Hail Eris!
All Hail Discordia!
Ⓚ 3175 Cabaletta Texts- all rites reversed, reprint what you like but please credit me, fnord?
Novus Οrdо Seclorum Erisium
Discordian Opening Ritual
by Prince Prance
(as it appears in the Book of Eris)
1. Clap x5
2. The Erisian Cross:
"Light in my Head
Fire in my genitals
Strength at my Right side
Laughter at my Left side
Love in my Heart."
3. Trace Spiral Pentagrams at the 4 quarters & zenith.
4. Face East:
"Blessed Apostle Hung Mung, great Sage of Cathay, Balance the Hodge and Podge and grant us equilibrium."
5. Face South:
"Blessed Apostle Van Van Mojo, Doctor of Hoodoo and Vexes, Give us the Voodoo Power and confuse our enemies."
6. Face West:
"Blessed Apostle Sri Syadasti, patron of psychedelia, Teach us the relative truth and blow our minds."
7. Face North:
"Blessed Apostle Zarathud, hard-nosed hermit, Grant us the Erisian doubt, and the constancy of Chaos."
8. Look up (or down):
"Blessed Apostle Malaclypse, Elder Saint of Discordia, Grant us illumination and protect us from stupidity."
9. Look all over the place:
"Great Goddess Discordia, Holy Mother Eris, Joy of the Universe, Laughter of Space, Grant us Life, Light, Love and Liberty and make the bloody magick work!"
10. "Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia.!
Notes:
1) Hung Mung is the Discordian link to the Chinese Mysteries and it is none other than he who devised the Sacred Chao. He is patron of the Season of Chaos.
2) Dr. Van Van Mojo is a fellow of the Intergalactic Haitian Guerillas for World Peace and is Patron of the Season of Discord.
3) Sri Syadasti is the Apostle of Psychedelia and the Patron of the Season of Confusion
4) Zarathud, a Hermit of Medieval Europe, has been dubbed "Offender of the Faith." He is Patron of the season of Bureaucracy."
5) Malaclypse the Elder is alleged to have been an ancient wiseman who carried as sign bearing the legend "DUMB" through the alleys of Rome, Baghdad, Mecca, Jerusalem, and some other places. He is Patron of the season of Aftermath.
Chaos: a few words
by St. Hugh, KSC of the Discordians for Softer Sandpaper Society
(a part of the Tzaddik Rouge / Purple Monkey Discordian Jihad)
Contrived order is insidious, invidious, and usurious. It taxes you unjustly, stealing your energy and desires for the benefit of its supporters who lie and tell you that magic is impossible.
The magician, witch, alchemist, shaman/ka, or even clown, is touched by this knowledge and experience in a way that ordinary reality and social consensus cannot account for nor explain. Dare you to stand at the font of inspiration that gives rise to all existence and claim to truly know it? Liar!
Visitations 13:5
from The Honest Book of Truth
And upon this day I say unto you: Each Sentient Being is an Incarnation of Me, and whosoever upon hearing this Truth shall come to know it, is blessed; and twice blessed are they who shall be unable again to forget it; but thrice-blessed is that Man or Woman who needed never to be told.
INVOKING WEIRDNESS
from APIKORSUS
(an essay on the diverse practices of Chaos Magick, from the L.O.O.N.)
My old Adept used to say to me "Laddie, there ain't nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it." So off we went in full Golden Dawn regalia to hold back the tide at Bournemouth seafront. After that, he had me doing sigils to make Harold Macmillan s hair stand on end. He gave his life to magick, he said, after meeting Crowley in a Turkish Bath, but he had boundless enthusiasm which was infective. You felt you could do it, no matter how silly or nonsensical it was. He was fond of saying "if the kingdom of heaven is within you, why spend more than 10 pounds on occult books?" Here are some of the things he had me doing:
Everything we know boils down to supposition in the end, so reverse all statements, or put "nots" into assertions, and leap before you look. Wake up one day and attempt to banish your everyday reality - everything becomes new, unfamiliar and totally baffling. Objects become intense and frightening.
Be Wrong. We spend a lot of time striving for Right answers, right beliefs, doing it right. Doing it right = confidence = success. Bo-ring! Be Wrong!
Gods and Gurus. Possession by a God or Spirit allows you to do things you would not ordinarily do. A guru gives proof that you can walk a tightrope without falling off, that you can play in the deep end of the swimming pool without drowning. Insanity seems to be an occupational hazard of magicians. Better be mad now and save time later. Harpo Marx was the greatest Hollywood shaman. Could you blow up a rubber glove and then milk it?
Sanity is out there rather than in your head, since most people seem to see themselves as crazier than everyone else. If we voice too many mad thoughts, we get locked up. I recall a woman in the local asylum who thought she was a bird in a cage - she d learnt to keep quiet about this as telling people only got her extra medication and ECT. Being safe is being sane - not expressing your mad thoughts. Magick can be about letting your mad thoughts out to stalk the streets in gangs.
Magick is a street thing. Magicians must be seen and heard. Crowley s trickster persona exemplified this, following in the zigzag path of Cagliostro, Simon Magus, and innumerable Shamans and Witches worldwide. A good magician plays to his audience, be it a tribal shaman doing Ifa or a street-corner sorcerer making anti-cop talismans out of tin can lids. Learn to juggle, dance, play Irish Stand-down; these are the true siddhis. If you re really going to become a jumped-up little megalomaniac, you might as well get a few laughs while you re about it. Pass the Top Hat.
A midnight snack for thought
by DJ Rubberducky
Forget Gandhi's words about how we must be the change we wish to see in the world. We are the change we will make in the world.
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Thee Chain-Booke az ov now.
Kopyleft(k) 2004. All Rites Reversed. Copy and distribute freely.
KALLISTI!
Teile davon haben wir schon. Die Magie-Grundlagen von Lord Falgan auf jeden Fall, und ich meine, ich habe irgendwo die Fragmente aus dem Complete Book of "This is Just a Working Title" noch in übersetzter Form rumfliegen. Waren meine ersten Übersetzungsversuche überhaupt, vor über 10 Jahren. 
