Diskordisches Glossar

[Bwana Honolulu]

A Glossary of Some Discordian Terms

Like any other Neo-Pagan denomination, Discordianism has its collection of terms specific to itself. Here is a collection of the more current, enduring, and useful terms…wherein much is explained about everything you wanted to know about something or other.


Sacred Scriptures
those writings which are (hopefully) visionary and inspirational to both their own creators/authors and other people; it also helps if the writer of such works claim them to be of ‘divine inspiration’. (i.e. “Eris made me do it.”) Such writings must also be absurd (otherwise we Discordians know they can’t possibly be Eris-inspired), humorous, erudite (or pretend to be so), insightful, and mercifully not-so-long…unless of course they are not.

Chaote
a chaote is a free-radical wild person, or at least that’s how they want to be perceived. The word chaote is often used to mean ‘chaoist’. But the two words are not always interchangeable. Especially since no one seems to be able to agree on the pronunciation of ‘chaote’. (Is it cowtey, cowt, cayott, cayote, cayotee, or ‘coyote’ for bobsake?) Perhaps it’s because no one really speaks ancient Greek anymore.

Eristic
anything characteristic of Eris; tending towards opposition; disorderly things are said to be Eristic. This adjective can also be used to refer to anything related to the Discordian Society and its projects. The Eristic Delusion is said to occur when one gets too caught up in disorder and strife that they can’t see the inherent chaos in structures of order. Opposite of Aneristic.

Erisian
anyone who worships Eris. Also, a position that recognizes a balance between Eristic and Aneristic forces with a stress on the Eristic side of life whenever there is a tendency toward Aneristic forces and ideas. Some people understand the difference between the terms “Discordian” and “Erisian.” The major difference (not accepted or understood by all who call themselves either Erisian or Discordian) is that the Erisians work in more esoteric and mysterious ways and are much like the old Chinese Taoist philosophers, whereas the Discordians are the activists. Most of long time Discordians or Erisians learn to see the difference. However, we will use the terms interchangeably just because we can.

Aneristic
anything characteristic of opposition to Eris; tending towards order; anything said to be imposed and marked by refusal to recognize the inherent chaos of everything. This also refers to those who are hostile to both Discordians and the Discordian society. It is often used in the phrase “Aneristic Greyface” and other such swear words. The Aneristic Delusion is said to occur when one gets too caught up in order and rules that they can’t see the playful creativity of disorder.

The Sacred Chao
the symbol of Discordianism consisting of a yin-yang type symbol with a pentagon on one side (for order) and the golden apple of discord on the other side (for disorder). The Sacred Chao represents the Hodge-Podge, which is order and disorder in natural balance, though each side is constantly in motion (represented by spinning around). The pronunciation of ‘Chao’ is like ‘Cow’, and ‘Chao’ refers to a single un-definable ‘unit’ of Chaos (much like a ‘photon’ is to light). Whether a chao is a particle or a wave is irrelevant as a chao only exhibits itself according to the preconceptions of its observer. It is very possible that I don’t know what the hell a chao really is, however. (Or perhaps I really don’t want to tell you.)

The Hodge and the Podge
these are the polarities represented by the Sacred Chao. Christians have ‘Good and Evil’. Taoists have ‘Yin and Yang’. Politicians have the ‘Rich and Poor’. We Discordians have ‘the Hodge and the Podge’. The Hodge refers to the chaotic, disorderly, and eristic. The Podge refers to the orderly and aneristic. The pentagon and the golden apple on the Sacred Chao represent the Podge and the Hodge respectively. The Hodge and the Podge are in constant turmoil with one or the other sometimes gaining a temporary victory. Neither polarity will ultimately defeat the other. They are both aspects of chaos, after all. It is said that the present era of humanity has the Podge being ascendant (successful), and therefore almost everyone thinks that the only way to solve humanity’s messes is more order. Discordians would also include most of the so-called counter-establishment (those who talk endlessly about freedom, etc.) in the Podge, because most of them believe in the necessity of imposing order of some sort. As is said in the Book of Eris, “From the Podge grows bureaucracy, rather pointless laws, organized religion, the Objectivist Movement, and most forms of calculus.” To counter this Podge, the Discordians, among others, see that balance must be restored by injecting some “good old fashioned chaos” into the mix which will lead to more actual freedom, less dogmatism, more heresy (i.e. individual choice in religious matters), mind expansion, and a more efficient society that may actually do its job of supplying humans with their needs and desires. Discordians do this by trying to break through the encrusted mindsets and paradigms that restrict peoples’ thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. The interplay of the Hodge and the Podge and the spinning of the Sacred Chao takes distinct forms which manifest in what Discordians see as five aspects, represented by the five seasons: Chaos, Discord, Confusion, Bureaucracy, and Aftermath. This brings me to the next definition:

The Law of Eristic Escalation
this states that the imposition of order leads to the escalation of disorder, or ‘chaos’ in its ordinary sense. When order is imposed over chaos, discord and strife results which leads to confusion, which leads to more attempts to impose order and manifests as bureaucracy, which in turn starts the drift back to chaos known as the aftermath. The Book of Eris states: “For example, if the government were to ban all opinions other than officially sanctioned ones [you know, like what happened in the US after 9/11], an obvious attempt to impose order, the result would be massive riots, Most people, blissfully unaware of this law, attempt to impose order anyway, with comical results.” The Law is said to not work for those who are aware of it.

Neophile
a person who loves the ‘new’, or who is the sort of person who is unafraid to develop new ways of being and new ways of perception. These people are also those who push the envelope, so to speak. It is said that the majority of people throughout human history have not been neophiles. The majority of humanity, in fact, hates neophiles.

Neophobe
a person who hates and fears the ‘new’. Such people tend to despise any innovations even to the point of murdering inventors/propagators of the ‘new’. It is said that the majority of people throughout human history have been neophobes. In Discordian philosophy, much of human history is said to be dominated by neophobes.

Chaoism
the philosophical position which recognizes that chaos underlies everything in both existence and non-existence. It is the more esoteric plethora of the Discordian thought-forms. All Erisians are chaoists but not all chaoists are Erisians. A ‘chaoist’ is one who approaches life from this perspective. There are many parallels between ‘Chaoism’ and the Classical Chinese ideas known collectively as ‘Taoism’ and in tribute of this parallel, the Discordian Society coined this apt term. Some people confuse the term ‘Chaoism’ with ‘Cowism’ due to the fact that both words sound the same. However, ‘Cowism’ refers to the ideas of the radical Bovine Liberation movement started by St. Mu-Tan in which Bovines are declared to be at the top of the food chain and should therefore eat humans as an act of liberation.

Greyface/Grayface
refers to the mythical original instigator of destructive order and the first among humans to actually take order and seriousness more seriously than life itself. The word is also used disparagingly by Discordians to refer to people who exhibit life-denying tendencies; who appear to lack a sense of humor; who deny Eris Her special place in the multiverse; who insist that their reality tunnels and dogmas have captured the One and Only Truth™ and cannot see the irony in their own mental imprisonment. Discordians differ in opinion as to what needs to be or should be done to/with Greyfaces. The majority seem to agree that Greyfaces need to subverted, if only to provide useful entertainment and more fodder for Discordian writers to use in the creation of Sacred Scriptures and parables.

Episkopos
this is the term that is usually reserved for the leader or instigator of a group of Discordians. It comes from the same old Greek word for ‘bishop.’ An Episkopos is usually the facilitator of rituals, activities, and/or practitioners’ development. However, due to the anti-authoritarian flavor of the Discordian Society, Episkoposes can and often do change their titles and respective functions within their group. They also work to hand off the ‘leadership mantle’ as soon as is possible. Note: They are not therapists, though they often indulge in magical practices and other mind-sciences.

Jihad
a tem actually borrowed from the Chaos Magic of Peter Carroll’s IOT. Contrary to the original Chaos Magic definition of a ‘jihad’ being one of magical struggle either against opponents or against inner obstacles, Discordianism sees the word as simply referring to another part of Operation Mindfuck. It is an extreme phase of pranks directed usually at other members of the Discordian Society but can also include any others who are deemed complacent or too serious. The Great Discordian Jihad is said to be nothing more than a grand jake, which leads us to the next definition…

Jake
this refers to one of the most popular forms of Discordian prank. A ‘jake’ is declared by any member of the Discordian Society against any person they feel deserves it. Other Discordians will then simultaneously get in on the activity. Many times several cabals will participate in a jake. Usually jakes take the form of letters, or strange awards being sent to the recipient with the intention of either illuminating them of their folly or driving them crazy. A jake is supposed to also be so far outside the box of legality that no one but the recipient need suffer any consequences. Unless laughter is the consequence.

Magic
the practice of occult techniques, sciences, and lore, whether ancient or recently created. Witchcraft and ritual ceremonial magic would thus fall under this definition. Despite what detractors of magic claim, the tactics and practice of magic do get results in the so-called “material” world. Not all Discordians believe that magic works, let alone that it would exist. Those Discordians who do use or practice magic tend not to believe anything other than the evidence of their senses, and thus their approach is likened to Chaos Magic, that is if they are not already consciously practicing Chaos Magic. Discordians could care less about the shrill claims of the monotheist fundamentalists about magic being evil. Nor do they care about the shrill claims of the scientific intellectual materialists who claim that magic is a delusion or waste of time. As Lucy the Washed says, “All those people going around denying magic or insulting those who practice magic only show themselves to be as ignorant as fundamentalists that deny other religions but their own. Only the few Marxists now pretending to be anarchists and some hack writers who call themselves skeptics - that is, skeptics of anything but what they themselves believe - are still deluded enough to deny magic.”

SNAFU
this literally means ‘situation normal all fucked up.’ It refers to the current state of society, and also what Discordian cabals like to cause. The best snafus are those in which the resulting problems or ‘sabotage’ occurred simply from obeying or following the established rules or sets of conduct. Discordians like to find these where possible and bring them to a full head of steam.

CoN, CON
the Conspiracy of Normalcy. This refers to the dominant values of the mainstream, hyper-mediated consumer society. “Not thin enough? Not smart enough? Not pretty enough? Buy our special brand x product and you can be!” “Wear this. Do that. Think about this. Avoid feeling that way.” All of these previous statements show the effects of the thought processes involved in the Conspiracy of Normalcy. This conspiracy assumes that there is some ‘normal’ and ‘average’ type of person which is the ideal for everyone. What really happens is that free individuals end up choosing to be mass- produced-media-image-factory-made-cookie-cut-outs of some magazine ideal. And for those who don’t want to or can’t fit in, there are stories and myths of the sorts of horrible places such people will go through. Basically the Conspiracy of Normalcy is potent because it takes away individuals’ own intrinsic value and tells those individuals that they are not good enough for society. But they can get good enough if only they buy the right products. (Whatever the product is: ideas, religions, theories, clothing, burgers, deodorant; it doesn’t matter, they’re all the same. Your only value to the CoN is as a consumer of their products, and they won’t hesitate to reinforce that idea for you in case you should start to get out of line and actually begin to genuinely feel something.)

Kallisti
this is Classical (Attic) Greek for ‘to the prettiest [one]’ or ‘to the most beautiful [one]’. It was what Eris inscribed on Her famous Golden Apple before She rolled it into the wedding feast on Mount Olympus. ‘Kallisti’ is technically a dative case version of the superlative ‘kallistos’ (“prettiest”) with the comparative being ‘kallion’ (“prettier”) and the original adjective being ‘kalos’ - good, beautiful - and ‘kalli’ goes into a lot of words such as ‘calligraphy’. Kallisti today is used as an almost greeting among Discordians, along with such phrases as ‘Hail Eris!’ and ‘All Hail Discordia!’ It also means many other things that this glossary will not explain. If you would like to learn the full extant of the meanings, you may wish to become Discordian.

KSC, KNS, KHS, and others
some of the silly abbreviations for titles that may be of mystical Erisian import for those into that sort of thing. ‘KSC’ refers to a ‘Keeper of the Sacred Chao’ and is bestowed upon certain Discordians who, regardless of their own wishes, seem to be considered people who create cabals, stir up Erisian activities, engage in chaoist apologetics, and possibly advance Discordianism. Personally, I feel that ‘KSC’ is as the Principia Discordia says: a term that “means nothing, says less.” But that could be more dis-information. You decide. ‘KNS’ is generally ‘Keeper of Nothing Sacred’ though it stands for many other weird titles. ‘KHS’ is ‘Keeper of Holey Socks’ and is the title bestowed upon Discordian teachers and doers of Chaos Magic, since having socks with holes in them was discovered to be of prime effectiveness in ritual magic by the arcane and secretive White Mouse Liberation faction of the ancient Purple Sage Department, of which I can not speak any further since it would violate the unknown laws of physics to do so.

Free Market
said to be, as of yet, unachieved by any modern society. Note that Capitalism is not considered to be a ‘Free Market’ by Discordians who have the rude habit of pointing out that dominance, oppression, and general stupidity runs as rife in Capitalism as it does in the State Capitalist societies once dubbed ‘Socialist’. Discordians also note rudely that in a real ‘Free Market’, there would be nothing like rent, taxes, and inflation, since things would be driven down to the level of cost and no one would be forced by the Financially Powerful and their institutions, to survive by wages or by using currency in which only the Financially Powerful has any say regarding its value. Since the State protects those powerful people, to the detriment of the rest, it is said that a ‘Free Market’ could only exist in a concretely ‘voluntary society’…i.e. a society which needs no State. Discordians disagree about what such a ‘Free Market’ would look like. Some say it will be like a left anarchist type of ‘freely associated’ collective enterprises and some say it will be like an Adam Smith type of small enterprise society. It would probably some mixture of both due to the various temperaments of different population groups.

Subgenius
We are not here concerned with the official™ definition of the word as a “member of the Church of the Subgenius.” We are simply concerned with the type of person this word refers to. A Subgenius is basically a Discordian who cares little to nothing for the greyfaces and their society of prisons. A lot of Discordians are under the impression that the Church of the Subgenius is really a cult of lost followers of the pipe-smoking ‘Bob’ Dobbs, and thus all who could be called Subgenii are simply twisted versions of Discordians. However Bob isn’t giving interviews at this time, so there is no way to verify this. Some Discordians even claim that the Subgenii are not even Discordians anymore. But those people are really just confused as to Bob’s identity as Eris’ brother. If you wish to learn more about the Subgenii than go read the writings on their website. I’ll leave you with this quote from Reverend Ivan Stang of the Church of the SubGenius: “The only thing most SubGenii have in common is that they’re ALL DIFFERENT - and they have NOTHING in common with the C.O.N.S.P.I.R.A.C.Y.!! (Cliques of Normals Secretly Planning Insidious Rituals Aimed At Controlling You) The SubGenius, because it does not “fit in,” is actually better than anyone else.“

Illuminism
that body of thought which relates to artificial lighting paraphernalia. (Such as light switches, light bulbs, fluorescence, photons, candles, matches, and flashlights.) It is not presently understood why such things need their own body of thought, but perhaps they were jealous of humanity’s pre-occupation which television; sometimes refers to a plethora of approaches to spiritual and/or magical systems geared towards practitioners’ enlightenment (as in the Aleister Crowley coined phrase “Scientific Illuminism”) within Western based traditions.

The Illuminati
refers to a lot of things, depending on the prejudices of the person using the term. It means simultaneously: The Illuminati as an age old conspiracy to keep humans enslaved and therefore the Discordian Society’s arch enemy; the Illuminati as the group of Bavarian occultists and democratic agitators started by Adam Weishaupt in 1776; the Illuminati as Robert Anton Wilson’s revived group in post-modern times; or the Illuminati as a collective term for all those individuals or groups who belonged to certain mystery cults and magical orders in Western traditions from Classical times through the present. Many new Discordians at once logically suspect electricians of being Illuminati, but the real honest to Goddess “truth” is too astounding to reveal to them at this stage in the game.


-from “A Concise Guide to Discordianism”
A text in the PMM Erisian Archives/Library