Aktion 23 Fnorum

Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst hat geschrieben:1. The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe in it. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't.

2. To the True Children of Eris, Hell is known as the Region of Thud, and those who do not call it Thud can go to Hell.

3. Thud can seldom be found in the same place more than twice in a row, as it is conditional, not geographic.

4. The Four Conditions of Thud are: Nothing Happening; Nobody Caring; The Law of Fives Not Working, and Lawns Turning Brown.

5. Wheresoever do these Four Conditions prevail, it may be said surely that here be the Region of Thud, or some Prefecture of it.

6. There are Seven Prefectures, or Rungs, in Thud.

7. President of these United Rungs of Thud is Dr. Van Van Mojo, Dhv (Doctor of Hoodoo and Vexes), Imposter Apostle of Eris, Believer Deceiver, and Maker of Fine Dolls.

8. It is Dr. Mojo's contention that Patamunzo Lingananda is the Real Impostor Apostle, and he the Genuine Original Historic Creaole Apostle of Eris.

9. Van van Mojo heaps hatred and curses upon Patamunzo Lingananda, while Lingananda eternally sends back vibrations of his all-compassionate love and blessings, along with an occasional anonymous poison-pen letter.

Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst hat geschrieben:1. Now the Four Conditions do prevail in all the Seven Prefectures of Thud, and also in Thud Proper, to boot.

2. In addition, there is to be found within each of the Seven Prefectures a Distinguishing Presence, which separates each from the others, and from Thud Proper.

3. In the First Prefecture, for example, there dwells a Black Dragon in a cave.

4. In the Second Prefecture a Blue Dragon lives in a lake.

5. In the Third Prefecture a Green Dragon lurks in a forest or jungle.

6. In the Fourth Prefecture is a Red Dragon, basking a great fire.

7. In the Fifth Prefecture may be found the Gate to Nothingness, beyond which one finds the Road to the Aneristic Empire.

8. In the Sixth Prefecture is a Yellow Dragon, very conspicuous against whatever background, but making for a nice color scheme, what with all the brown lawns.

9. At last, in the Seventh Prefecture, or the lowest Rung of the Region of Thud, are to be found Oil Sprites, everywhere.

10. In Thud Proper is a White Dragon, hibernating in a patch of warm snow.

11. Some say, though, that the Region of Thud does not exist, while others say it is only a state of mind. Frankly, I think it is a bunch of insane bullshit, and I recorded it here for the devout and stupid.