2019 Full Moon Calendar
badoccultadvice:
Use Bad Occult Advice’s 2019 Full Moon Calendar to schedule your next lunar getaway, sacred ritual, or out of body experience!
Super Blood Wolf Moon
January 21
During this moon, all werewolves gain an irresistible and overwhelming urge to devour a tofu-kale salad.
Super Snow Moon
February 19
For the duration of this moon, players of SSX Tricky will find it 20% easier to rock a rhyme on time.
Super Tequila Worm Moon
March 20
This moon heralds a unique happy hour period during which it is five o'clock everywhere.
Super Pink Moon
April 19
Originally posted by calpicoboys
Super Flower Moon
May 18
Pulling the petals off of this moon one by one will reveal your love interest’s true feelings for you. If there are no petals on the Flower Moon, check to see if you planted your Flower Moon too early, before the last frost. This can often stunt lunar development.
Super Goji-Açai-Quinoa Synergy Moon
June 17
Formerly known as the Strawberry Moon, the Goji-Açai-Quinoa Synergy Moon was renamed for better superfood promotional SEO.
Regular Sturgeon Moon
August 15
We’ve been working tirelessly to give you twelve super moons a year, but budget is getting tight now as the market looks at signs of a recession. With our most sincere expression of sadness, we regret to inform you that this year’s Sturgeon Moon will be an as-is, no-frills, actual-moon affair. We apologize for the grief this may cause.
Super Corn Moon
September 14
The light of the Super Corn Moon is essential for producing the amount of candy corn that our yearly harvest celebrations call out for just as the soil calls out for blood.
Super Hunter’s Moon
October 13
Every year hunters attempt to shoot the Hunter’s Moon, and every year the Hunter’s Moon’s player flies the moon up into the corner of the screen, where a glitch prevents the NES Zapper from ever scoring a clean hit.
Super Beaver Moon
November 12
The Beaver Moon is a day-long event occurring each year ever since the third king of Middle Britain was fatally hit in the head by a rotting oak branch. As retribution for the evil that was brought upon humanity all those years ago, during the Beaver Moon all crime against trees is legal.
Super Cold Moon
December 12
A Cold Moon is a a state of hostility between astronomical bodies characterized by threats, propaganda, and other measures short of open lunar conflict. The current Cold Moon has been underway since the USA’s moon landing of 1969 violated intergalactic treaty law. It has been characterized by a litany of anti-Moon statements from the White House to an increasingly perplexed public, and has also resulted in an import embargo on lunar cheese.